“Nothing fails like success…”

Kenneth Boulding. [1]

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Hebrews 10:24 (NIV)

Most of us do not purposely start out to fail.  We don’t set goals that say, “Within five years I will be a financially-strapped business owner, on the verge of bankruptcy with nothing to show for my labor except a stack of unpaid bills.”  You don’t see many books hyping failure as a key to success – no “How to Lose at Golf,” or “How to Strike Out Every Time.”

Every ballplayer knows that standing up in the batter’s box is a risky thing to do.  While each strikeout is the pathway to the reward of another scoring opportunity, who ever heard of a ballplayer who is a great guy, but who has never had a hit?  Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times, but also had 714 home runs.  The king of strikeouts is Reggie Jackson at 2,597 times, but he is 11^th on the home run list at 563.

Returning to the dugout hitless is not easy and learning by losing is tough.  This is true of every business or occupation and eventually, if you lose often enough, you may quit trying; concluding that you are not cut out for it.  Maybe that is the right conclusion, and maybe not.

Most often, men define themselves by what they do to communicate who they are.  It seems that the men who are most admired by other men are the ones who risk the most and gain the most toys.  We don’t ever hear of those who risk and lose, never to rise again. 

Searching for the place of gain, men often engage in grand adventures at great risk to themselves and everyone around them, without giving a thought to failure.  Whoever coined the phrase win-win[2] was not talking about a manly point of view, although this idea seems to reflect the reality of many negotiating opportunities where opposing sides seek to find mutual value as the best way out of their dilemmas.  Such an approach is distinctly and attractively feminine. 

But, in sports, in battles, and in business, men just want to win.  Someone needs to say that this is distinctly and attractively masculine, so I will.  Being male and coming into manhood is all about risk, danger, adventure, and challenge in the journey.  Reaching the destination by wits and muscle alone gives satisfaction, regardless of outcomes.  While victory and reward is greatly to be preferred it is often elusive, and men find out about being a good sport, taking it like a man, and lowering ambitions.

When my business turned from success to failure, when nothing I did had any effect on improving our condition, when what seemed like good decisions at the time turned sour, I languished like Coleridge’s ancient mariner and the dead albatross.[3]  I stood in the dark in the middle of the night, shaking my fist at God.  Every idea I had of who I was and what I was to do in the world, was swept away in those months and years.  After many trials, retreats, and restarts, I learned that what God wanted for my life was not primarily to be found in my own business.  If that business had continued without change, I would not be sharing with you today.

I tell you this in order to say that outcomes are not in your hands.  Failure and success somehow go together – you do not normally have one without the other – but knowing that does not make losing any easier.  In male society it is intuitively understood that handling both well is a part of what it means to be a real man, but neither one surprises or thwarts God in His plan for your life.  Have you heard this one?

The Man Who Thinks He Can

What do you think – the ring of truth, but not the whole truth?  Did someone say “baloney?”  One might wonder what failure really is.  Where does success begin, and whose will and state of mind determines the results of your ventures?  Who creates reality by thinking?  Who is a loser or a winner?  Such are imponderable questions until Jesus comes into your life story.  He may lead you to remedies for your stormy times.  But, would He lead you to failure to get your attention, and to redirect your life?  Hmm.

I often wonder what was going through the minds of Simon Peter, Andrew, James, and John, when Jesus called them to follow him (Matthew 4).  They were family businessmen who needed to keep pulling in fish in order to profit, to be successful, and to support their families.  They left their boats.  Life changed for them that day in a way that they could not have imagined when they only saw themselves as fishing boat owners.

Perhaps you feel isolated and in need of some encouragement today.  If you will allow Him to do so, God will meet your need.  Often, He does this through the people in your life, who can be the conduit of His grace to you – perhaps through your spouse, or maybe through other Godly men.  What you will learn by engaging honestly with them is that the peace of God arrives almost unexpectedly, in the midst of adversity. 

As Jesus looks at you He sees your whole life, your family, your business, and your challenges.  Instead of immediately fixing your problem He says, “Come, Follow me.”  Not to success or failure, but to the pathway of the noble life.  We will talk more about that.